Well dalam seminggu dua ni I've been going through a really tough time and for the first time ever after so many years, I cried while thinking about the problem I'm going through. Because most of the time I choose not to address the problems and what I did was going out lepak with my friends and bincang pasal masalah dorang instead of mine. For me at that time, I got to think to myself that orang lain pun ada masalah and apa sangatlah masalah yang I'm going through compared to them kan? But recently, I think dah sampai masa dimana masalah-masalah yang I don't want to address back then datang and haunt me.
It was too much to handle when suddenly semua masalah yang tersimpan tu datang serentak. Usually they'll come back like satu-satu but this time around, they gang up on me and beat the shit out of me. I was crying dekat office in the toilet because I felt defeated. I don't know who to talk to because my problems were 360 and I couldn't find a way out.
But luckily I have someone that I can talk to and seems to understand what I'm going through. Even she was shocked to learn the fact that I'm going through such thing. I was telling people how important it is for you to share the things that you're going through and not to keep it to yourself kan? But I didn't do it either sebabnya as I said before, most people would think that we just want attention. Mungkin betul sebab we need channel to express the problems but at the same time, we don't to look like a brat who can't handle life. Sometimes life is hard for some people, so I think it is important for those who are blessed to have a good life to actually reach out to these people.
At first I thought I have a good life and that's why I've been reaching out to people just to help them go through life. Tapi I didn't realized that myself pun ada tons of masalah. So after talking to my friend the other night, now I see a new phase in my life where I should address things that are important and really matter in my life. Sekarang ni I'm living a new phase in my life where cukup lah untuk surround myself with people who really care for you and there's no need to chase thing yang not meant to be yours.
Now I strongly believe in God's plan and I'm living my life with one purpose which is to be the better me. Tak payah lah kan sekarang nak berlawan dengan orang nak tengok siapa lebih bagus. The only person I want to be better than is myself today. Semua pun ada peringkat so let's start to better ourselves step by step. Biar lah lambat pun as long as there is progress. People might say things about you along the way but just keep reminding yourself that you are living your life for yourself and as long it doesn't concern other people's well-being. Just do you!
Are you ready untuk mulakan fasa baru dalam hidup?
P/S: It's never to late to start something good.