(I wish I could that dear Bob)
Tak tau lah dah berapa kali kan saya cakap pasal benda ni. Usually I'll say that I don't really care what people think about me when the truth is I do care. Especially bila masuk fasa baru dalam hidup, for example tukar kerja baru ke, kenal orang baru ke or anything lah yang memerlukan saya berkomunikasi dengan orang baru. kebiasaanya orang akan start tegur kalau 1st impression dorang terhadap kita adalah yang positif. Based on my past experiences, I don't really give a good 1st impression on people and that really bothers me because I know myself and I'm not as what people think I am.
Almost everyone yang saya kenal cakap saya sombong and I have this look where people will immediately think 'Oh bajet bagus dia ni buat muka berlagak'. But that is not the case, I can't help to be born with this face and I look weird when I smile. After a while, most people macam menyesal sebab I'm that person yang can talk non-stop. So that's why I'm worried because I don't usually initiate conversation because I'm scared but my face doesn't help people to start a conversation with me. I'm dying to get everyone to talk to me. Well itu masalah nak bersosial dengan orang and environment baru.
When it comes to get to know someone romantically. I'm failing hard too sebab according to my best friend, I'm sending out the wrong signal. Apparently I look like those people who prefer something short term and for fun. I'm totally the opposite and when it comes to relationship, I'm very traditional like that. But it seems like I'm portraying myself differently from I truly am inside. It comes to the point that bila orang cakap saya itu ini, saya ya kan je sebabnya dah malas dah nak explain who I am. Because whenever I'm explaining myself, nampak macam I'm trying to deny the fact that I'm actually a bitch. So orang cakap saya ni suka sleep around ke apa ke, angguk je lah. Though it is sad that people see me that way but there's no use to change what people believe in. Because if they really want to get to know the real me, they will do their part.
Yes this post is here because I'm in a new phase in life now and people's perception towards me masih sama and I'm kind of sad to think about it. What should I do differently to make people see the real me? Help?
P/S: This is an ongoing issue and I really want to put a stop to it. How?