It took me 30 whole years to finally admit that I need professional help. Honestly, I didn’t know it was that serious until I experienced my first ever major panic attack a few months back. It was so bad that the only thing that I could think of at that moment was death. I have never wished to die so badly as I did that time.
It felt like there was not a single way out for me and I felt like the world is crumbling on me. I can definitely feel the weight of all my problems on me, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I broke down and I cried in the bathroom because I was with my family at that time. I don’t want to alarm them so I decided to try healing on my own. But it didn’t go as I thought it would be, I was still ‘lost’ and didn’t know what to do. I tried to talk to the people around me, but it just made it worst.
I’m not the person who opens up as much to my family, so I turned to my friends. This was when I realized that I need professional help. Yes, your family and friends can listen to whatever you’re going to tell them but they will never understand what you’re going through. Here’s a tip for everyone out there, whenever someone comes and talks to you about their mental state, the last thing you should do is ask them to ‘chill’. I mean, if we can ‘chill’, don’t you think we wouldn’t have done that? If you are at a loss for words or don’t know how to respond, just listen. Because what we want is someone to listen to what we are going through.
That’s why I decided that I need to take some time off for myself. Because I believe that one can never rely on others to listen to you. So I decided to listen to myself and get myself away from the things that overwhelm me. Other than my work, another thing that overwhelms me is social media. I tend to spend so much time on social media back in the days and it took a toll on me. Without realizing it, I often compare myself to everyone else on social media, which is not a healthy thing to do. I took a few months off from social media and it helped me a lot. Now I’m using social media as a source for news, learning new things, and hoping to help others like me.
I know it is not easy to open up and it took me this long to finally open up about my condition. I just want people to know that it is okay to talk about your mental health. But please talk to the right person. Hopefully, with me sharing my experience, more people will be aware of mental health and the importance of taking care of your mental health.
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