Self-doubt. We’ve all been there. One moment, you’re feeling confident, sure of your decisions and direction, and the next, a few words from someone close (or even a stranger) make you second-guess everything. It's almost like a domino effect—one little push, and suddenly, you're in a downward spiral of doubt.
But why do we let other people's opinions have such a powerful hold on our confidence? And more importantly, how can we take back control when someone else's words shake our foundation?
Why Self-Doubt Happens
Self-doubt often stems from a combination of internal and external factors. Internally, we all have insecurities—those nagging thoughts that maybe we’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough. Externally, these insecurities can be triggered when someone points them out or questions our abilities, even if unintentionally.
Maybe it’s a boss giving you feedback that’s harsher than expected. Maybe it’s a friend making an offhand comment about your choices. It could even be a social media post that makes you feel like you’re not achieving as much as others. No matter the source, the feeling of doubt that creeps in is real, and it can derail your progress if left unchecked.
What to Do When You Start Doubting Yourself
Pause and Reflect
Before spiraling, take a step back and consider whether the doubt is justified. Is there truth in what was said, or is it a reflection of someone else's insecurities? Sometimes, people project their fears onto others, so their comments might say more about them than about you.
Separate Emotion from Fact
When we’re caught off guard, our emotions tend to take over. In moments of doubt, try to focus on the facts. What do you know to be true about yourself and your abilities? Remind yourself of past successes and how far you’ve come.
Surround Yourself with Positive Reinforcement
Reach out to your support network—those people who believe in you, no matter what. They can offer perspective and remind you of your worth. Positive feedback from trusted individuals can counterbalance the negativity.
Use It as a Learning Opportunity
Sometimes doubt can actually fuel growth. If there is constructive criticism in someone’s words, take it and use it to improve. However, if their comments are purely negative or unhelpful, recognize that and move forward without carrying the burden.
Reaffirm Your Strengths
Whenever doubt creeps in, it’s crucial to remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments. Write them down if you need to. You are capable, talented, and worthy, even if someone’s words momentarily made you feel otherwise.
My Experience with Self-Doubt
I’ve experienced self-doubt at work, where people pushed me beyond my capabilities under the guise of a "learning curve." It was all good until I fumbled, and when I did, it was entirely on me because I was seen as not competent enough. In situations like these, I usually take time to reflect. I ask myself: Is there any truth in what they’re saying? Why was such a remark made to me? And why do I allow it to affect me? From there, I assess what can be done differently if it turns out to be true or false.
There was a specific moment in my career where I turned self-doubt into motivation. Someone told me I wasn’t a good manager, and that hit hard. Instead of letting it keep me down, I proved them wrong. I took on three campaigns by myself, delivered what was needed, and even exceeded expectations. But I also realized my worth in that process. After achieving all that, I resigned the next month because I refused to let anyone use me like that anymore.
Your Turn
Have you ever experienced a moment where someone’s words made you doubt yourself? How did you handle it? Feel free to share your story in the comments below—it’s always helpful to hear how others have navigated through moments of self-doubt!
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