Throwback Thursday: Makan Lipas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOX6h5IQpdc

Okay, before I start, I just want to say that this is an alleged story.

Sebab sampai sekarang, I tak ada proof yang benda ni betul-betul happened.

But...

The evidence was very concerning.

Recently, I was scrolling through TikTok and came across this one girl yang suka makan benda-benda pelik. Serangga lah, makanan rare lah, benda yang buat kita tertanya-tanya "why?"

Then suddenly, one memory from over 20 years ago unlocked from somewhere deep inside my brain.

And honestly?

I wish it stayed there.

So this happened when I was a kid. Tak ingat umur berapa, but definitely more than 20 years ago.

It was just like any other morning.

Bangun pagi, mata masih mamai, otak belum loading sepenuhnya. Then macam biasa lah, I lap mulut sebab nak buang air liur basi yang meleleh masa tidur tu.

Then I noticed something dekat tangan.

A tiny kaki lipas.

I stared at it for a few seconds.

"Eh?"

At first I thought maybe it came from somewhere else.

Then I looked closer.

It was definitely a cockroach leg.

Now my brain was fully awake.

I quickly went to the mirror and that's when I saw another tiny kaki lipas dekat bibir.

BIBIR.

At that point I was like...

"Hell no."

Terus lari pergi dekat mak.

"Mak... Faiz makan lipas ke semalam?"

Imagine waking up in the morning and that being the first question you ask your mother.

My mom, being calmer than I was, asked me to open my mouth.

So there we were, conducting a very serious investigation early in the morning.

She checked my mouth.

Nothing.

Tak ada kaki.

Tak ada kepala.

Tak ada sisa-sisa lipas dekat gigi.

Nothing.

Then my mom came up with a theory.

And honestly, theory dia lagi seram.

Sebab malam tu I tidur atas lantai.

Jadi kemungkinan besar, seekor lipas berjalan melintas muka I masa tengah tidur.

Then somehow, while sleeping, I tergigit kaki dia.

The lipas panicked.

I panicked.

And the lipas escaped.

Leaving behind only the evidence.

The legs.

Honestly, I don't know what's worse.

Makan seekor lipas penuh-penuh.

Or knowing that a lipas was close enough to my mouth for me to bite its leg.

Sampai hari ni, I still don't know what actually happened.

Maybe the cockroach lost its legs somewhere nearby.

Maybe I accidentally bit it.

Maybe I swallowed part of it.

Maybe that lipas went back to its family and told everyone about the giant human who tried to eat it.

We'll never know.

But every now and then, this memory randomly resurfaces and ruins my day.

And now that I've shared it with you...

It can ruin yours too.

You're welcome.