Friends come and go but those who stay are family. So how do you keep or make a good friend? Let see if below tips can help you.
Be friendly
Of course to make friends, first you need to be friendly. Try to like everyone and eventually everyone will like you. It's like boomerang, whatever you do, it will come back to you. But for me personally, I have issues being friendly because I'm scared that I might scare people away.
Remember names
People love it when you use their name. It says that you’re interested in them and it’s a great way to help build a friendship. I have no problems in remembering names at all! But to maintain your existing friendship, try give them new names that are exclusive to both of you.
Listen
Listen. Not just for a gap in the conversation where you can say your bit, but really listen. Ask questions that show that you’re interested. Listen with your eyes and don’t fall asleep. This is what I like to do, a lot! because I learnt so much from listening to my friend's stories. Try and you'll learn something new about your friends every day.
Stick to the bottom line
Be honest and tell the truth in your friendships. Dishonesty causes unnecessary problems. Sooner or later it always catches up on you and can break friendships down. But for me I always tell the truth and be honest but most of my friends prefer to believe otherwise. So I ended up conforming whatever they want to believe I am. Eventually the truth will come out and prepare your explanations.
Say a good word
Put-downs and nick-names can be funny, but they cut straight to the ego, and the ego has no sense of humor. Instead, pass around a few compliments. People sometimes don’t know how to handle them (they probably don’t get many) but no-one ever minds getting a genuine compliment. Love is an action not a feeling. “I can live three months on one good compliment.” – Mark Twain. Well this is good to start a conversation with someone new. But for best friends, it is recommended that you throw the harshest curse you can think of and be prepare to get back an even harsher curse be thrown at you.
Keep secrets
When your friends tell you their secrets it means that they trust you, respect you and think highly of the friendship. Be privileged enough to keep secrets. The only time you wouldn’t keep a secret is if it involved harm to yourself or another person. The best thing to do is go and tell an adult, even better take your friend with you. If you need to spill it, spill it here and be anonymous. *Wink*
Remember special times
Birthdays, Christmas, Valentines Day, Anniversaries, Mothers or Fathers day, if it’s a special day take time out to celebrate it. If it’s your friend’s birthday maybe you could pitch in and buy your friend lunch or even better get them a birthday cake. It feels good to be remembered you know.
Respect space
Nothing kills a friendship faster than suffocation. Give your friends some space. People hate to feel manipulated, boxed in or ‘owned’. Especially beware of showing offence if your friend wants to spend time with others or on their own. Always remember that your friends have other friends too, being in their face way too often is not good also. But I want to be close to my friends always. I'm a clingy crab.
Be yourself
Everyone likes to make a good impression, but sometimes that means people pretend to be someone that they are not. Drop the mask, let people see the real you. In actual fact, masks repel people. You are far more likely to be well liked when people know that you are ‘transparent’ open and honest. But if you're not easily open to people during the first encounter like myself. What I did was let my other friends to describe me, at least that person have some idea of who you might be when you're comfortable enough to throw some shades.
The art of self disclosure
You’ve got layers. There are parts to you near the surface that you don’t mind people seeing and knowing about things like your taste in music, your choice of sports, hobbies etc. But you also have deeper levels like your fears, feelings, beliefs, deep personal stuff that you don’t just share with anyone.
Part of being socially skilled is knowing how to manage your layers. Some people let people into their inner layers far too quickly. You meet someone on the bus and the next minute they’re telling you about some deep personal problem. For some this can be too fast but for me, I feel like you're totally comfortable with me and I really appreciate that. So this one it really depend on the person on either side. Because nothing can scare me away unless we've just met and you're asking me to love you. That'll be scary because I don't date friends.
P/S: Any other tips you want to share? I have lots but 10 is how much you all can read. Some can only go up till 3 tips.