So I never got the chance to actually talk about the OST of my life. This song was released like years ago? last year? I don't know but it speaks volume (I don't know what that means but I like the sound of it). Not only this song is catchy but the lyrics describe me to the core, well not all of it but most of it. Talking about love, my first love (what I thought it was) was back when I was 9. Yes, I really like my classmate and she always bought me identical stuff like pencil case or toys. She would asked her grandfather to pick me up and go on a play date. That was all, lost contact after I switched school.
Then I don't really like people in general because most of them are annoying and I'm only make friends with me, myself and I. Before I eventually open up to several people in high school, diploma and degree years. Only then I get to make like real friends. But I did found someone when I was doing my diploma. We lasted for like 3 years on and off but yeah I couldn't get over it after we ended. Tried few dating apps just to try my luck but just like Halsey said, I'm bad at love! None of them work, the longest would last about a month? okay now let's dissect the lyrics one by one and see why this song is the soundtrack of my life.
Got a boy back home in Michigan And it tastes like Jack when I'm kissing him So I told him that I never really liked his friends Now he's gone and he's calling me a bitch again
(Okay this one really describe what I once had with this person called 'R', I felt out of place whenever I hung out with this person's circle of friends and apparently friends are more important right? so yeah, I would have done the same)
There's a guy that lives in a garden state And he told me that we make it 'til we graduate So I told him the music would be worth the wait But he wants me in the kitchen with a dinner plate
(This one doesn't really describe my life because so far I've never shared what I want to do with my life, so the people I've dated doesn't really have a say what I'm going to do with my life)
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe That we're meant to be But jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy Get the best of me
(yeah I do get jealous but I wouldn't say it but you'll notice how I'm acting)
Look, I don't mean to frustrate, but I Always make the same mistakes, yeah I Always make the same mistakes 'cause
I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)
(Every damn time! My relationship always ended with people went missing all of a sudden. Bitch tell me what I've done wrong! At least I can improve for the next person I'm dating, I really need to draft a post-breakup survey!)
But you can't blame me for tryin' You know I'd be lyin' sayin' You were the one (ooh-ooh) That could finally fix me
Lookin' at my history I'm bad at love
(Yeah I always told them that they might be the one but you know I'd be lying right?)
Got a girl with California eyes And I thought that she could really be the one this time But I never got the chance to make her mine Because she fell in love with little thin white lines
(This happened one to many time! Whenever I thought that we could go far, my inner saboteur just there between us tearing us apart! I was about to plan our world domination together and suddenly poof, they disappeared in thin air)
London girl with an attitude We never told no one but we look so cute Both got way better things to do But I always think about it when I'm riding through
(This is the recent one I think? I don't really tell everyone just to my close friends about this person. But one day just because I was busy with family matters, this person decided that I'm too selfish and decided to call it off. Oh well, what's new?)
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe That I'm in too deep And jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy Get the best in me
Look, I don't mean to frustrate, but I Always make the same mistakes, yeah I Always make the same mistakes 'cause
I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)
But you can't blame me for tryin' You know I'd be lyin' sayin' You were the one (ooh-ooh) That could finally fix me Lookin' at my history I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)
Oh, you know, you know, you know (ooh-ooh) I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh) I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)
I know that you're afraid I'm gonna walk away Each time the feeling fades Each time the feeling fades I know that you're afraid I'm gonna walk away Each time the feeling fades
(I would never walk away unless I really think we couldn't work things out because of our differences. But most of them I will try to make it work until the other party decided not to. Which is always the case, I've only said no to one person and that person was the kindest person I've know but our ideas of relationship was very different)
You know I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh) But you can't blame me for tryin' You know I'd be lyin' sayin' You were the one (ooh-ooh) That could finally fix me Lookin' at my history I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)
Oh, you know, you know, you know (ooh-ooh) I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh) Oh, oh
I mean come on, this song is so on point for what I've been going through relationship wise. Tell me otherwise?
P/S: I have a dozen few my life OST, might share them in future post.