This is my month and I want it to be the best month of every year! 5 days in and I'm almost gave up on life. I don't know how to deal with stress? I mean I googled stuff and I just can't seem to do the things they've been suggesting. Maybe it is a part of a Cancer, the zodiac Cancer not the illness cancer okay.
I've always been comfortable not sharing all the problems that I'm facing directly to people. I'm not comfortable sitting in front of someone and share everything. There are people that I share some stuff with but never everything because I don't think it's good for other people to know everything about you. They might use what they know about you against you. That's what I'm most afraid of, so I prefer to just write it here. At least when people read this, they can't react immediately and the most important part is that, I can't see their reaction.
To be honest with you all, I hate seeing people react to something just like how I hate reacting to things because I prefer everyone to see or know me as someone who doesn't have feelings so when they did hurt my feelings, they'll not feel bad about it. That's like the last thing I want from people, for them to feel bad or sorry for me. I don't know, I'm complicated that sometimes I can't even figure out what's going on with my life.
Life is not the one that I'm most stress of, it's the people. I think I have a decent life going on but people tend to make it hard for me. Just like I said, maybe it is my nature not to let them know that they're actually killing me so I just take everything in and pretend that it was all okay and hoping that I will forget about it soon. But that's the tricky part, I'm not that kind of person who can easily forget things, I mean I do forgive people for what they did but I'll always remember. I might bring it up one day but never with ill intention. It's just a reminder for both parties of where we were once in life and where we are now and also where we could be in the future.
So yeah, again I don't know what I'm writing here because I'm in this place where my mind can't really think what is the best thing to do. Excuse me
P/S: I need some good rest!