I Admit Defeat

The past two months have been some of the hardest I’ve ever had to face. I went into this year with hope. I thought I was making the right choice by accepting a job that promised me the financial freedom I’ve been chasing for so long. Instead, it turned into my worst economic nightmare.

As some of you already know, I was scammed. And because of that, I spent two months unemployed, trying to stay afloat. Whatever little I had managed to save, I had to use it all to cover my commitments. It felt like building something slowly with bare hands, only to see it washed away by a single wave.

Now, I’ve started a new job, and I’m grateful. But starting over also means waiting, waiting for the first paycheck, waiting to feel stable again, waiting to breathe easier.

The hardest part of all this isn’t just the financial stress. It’s the weight of plans I made with people I care about, things I was excited to do, experiences I couldn’t wait to share. When this happened, I thought I could bounce back quickly, but the truth is, great things take time. And right now, I just don’t have the energy or the means to keep up with everything.

So here I am, admitting defeat. Not forever, but for now. I need to press pause, to put some things on hold until I find my footing again.

And I keep asking myself: would it be selfish if I did that? If I told people I can’t show up for everything right now because I need to focus on recovering, would that be okay? Maybe it is, but maybe it’s also the kindest thing I can do for myself.

I don’t know how to break this news to everyone involved. I don’t know how to explain without feeling like I’m letting people down. But what I do know is that admitting defeat doesn’t mean giving up. It means acknowledging where I am, so I can slowly, surely, find my way forward again.

For now, I’ll just hold on to the hope that this is only a hiccup, not the end of the road.