Okay, so lately, I’ve started to wonder if I’m losing my hearing—or if people have just collectively decided to start speaking gibberish. I’ll be in a one-on-one conversation, no distractions, no loud background noise, and somehow I still manage to miss half of what the other person is saying. My go-to response has become “Wait, what?” followed by some awkward nodding and hoping I didn’t just agree to something weird.
I’ve convinced myself more than once that people must be mumbling. Surely it’s not me, right? Like, they’re talking too slow, or slurring their words. I’m over here trying to follow along like I’m decoding some sort of secret language, all while thinking, Am I the problem? Or are they speaking gibberish? Because, honestly, that’s the only explanation I’m willing to accept at this point.
Now, here’s the thing—no other symptoms. No ringing, no ear pain, nothing. Just me not hearing stuff like a normal human being. You’d think if I was going deaf, there’d be some sort of warning, right? But no. It’s like one day I could hear fine, and now, I’m playing “Guess What They Just Said” on repeat.
It’s been happening enough recently that I’m starting to wonder if this is actually a thing. Like, do I need to get my hearing checked? Or am I just being overly dramatic? Part of me is convinced that people are just speaking in some ultra-low, slow-mo tone and I’m the only one not in on the joke. I mean, someone has to be the problem here, and I’m betting it’s not me. (Denial? Maybe. But it’s working for me so far.)
Honestly, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve smiled and nodded in conversations, pretending I understood every word, when really I have no clue. It’s like, Sure, I totally know what you just said, while internally panicking and hoping we switch topics soon. The fear of asking someone to repeat themselves for the third time in a row is very real.
So here I am, stuck between “Do I need my hearing checked?” and “Maybe people just suck at enunciating these days.” If anyone’s got a solution (besides finally admitting I need to see an audiologist), I’m all ears. Or at least, I hope I am.
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